a wholehearted life

june 29, 2016

dear Pixielove,

I just love gnawing off your soft chubby cheeks that sometimes (actually many times) i left my teeth marks when I can’t handle anymore your cuteness. you sometimes cried but don’t worry, no bleeding ever happened, i can assure you that. i’m sorry i couldn’t resist that urge. how could i?

i am writing these thoughts, while lying already on bed (you finally took an earlier bedtime!) while i listen to your little cute snore versus your Papa’s, well, not too cute snore. 🙂

so we just made our 1 year mark living in Sydney last Monday, june 27th and i’m forever grateful to all who have supported us emotionally, physically, prayerfully and virtually. and thankful to new friendships forged and families we have met along the way. it may look like that we transitioned really smoothly since we arrived but that’s not the entire story really.  Only because we have chosen to appreciate more the good things than the not so good ones. sure there were days when your Mama here almost lost my grip and could have given up my own fight but after all that’s said and done, i’m glad I am still here hanging on to a life meant for us…meant for you. And more than anything, we owe it to your Papa for working selflessly hard to provide us with this better life.

pixielove, you are 2 months away from turning 4 soon…and God knows you make my world spin crazier than ever..you’ve been outwitting me these days. One cloudy day, when i asked you to help water the snow peas in the garden..you said confidently, “But Mama, it’s going to rain soon, the rain can water the garden…” And you went back playing. I, however, was so amused and just shook my head with wonder. I might have to get used to this new attitude now huh?

winter is here and our outdoor adventures have become limited but we find ways to enjoy the sunshine and savour it as much as we can. since we live in a small house, it can get too cold than usual during winter but we are managing our day to day with it — breakfast in the backyard and bringing playtime outdoors, because why not?

about 5 weeks ago, we planted these snow peas seeds to hopefully build a lil garden teepee…and you proudly did it yourself. you counted them yourselves before sowing and covered with enough soil. i love that we are forging your early childhood life based on learning and doing. and hopefully, the things we do together help enrich happy experiences that you can look back to as you grow.

one time you hurt your elbow while playing out in the backyard and was too scared for me to put medicine on it. You kept cryin’, “I’m afraid!”..but I had to show you there was nothing to be scared of so despite your resistance, I quickly put medicine and you only settled down from crying after you put a ‘sticky’ (band-aid) yourself.

you love painting or sketching images of me (sometimes with our bike), your Papa and you, under a blue sky with the sun shining brightly — that kinda tells me how you appreciate the little things as much as I do.

what’s left of autumn in our neighborhood park…was surprised to see the colors show up late compared to the mountains…glad i brought my camera that day 🙂

you helping me make omelette for our usual breakfast…

when I needed to catch up some work myself, I let you occupy yourself in your playroom…

one of those sunny days when we wish to have picnic at the bigger park with a playground…


bubble play in the backyard…

“Mama, look at that.. i see the Earth!” 🙂

I wanted a picture of the 2 of us in this frame but it was obviously hard without a tripod.

“A child’s laugh could simply be one of the most beautiful sounds in the world.” Look at you!!!! so inlove with you! 🙂

Luckily, one sunny Tuesday, finally a rare photo of us — we stopped at this pretty tree and i bravely just asked a passersby who gladly took this photo. Not perfectly framed but worth keeping!

we’ve been discussing when to cut your hair in the passed few days..2 Sunday nights ago, you agreed (insisted actually) and i was the one who couldnt let go 😭😭😭…after a deep breath, i cut it myself eventually (just a lil fringe)…and so here you are, with your ‪#‎firsthaircut‬ EVER. you sure were very happy looking at the mirror after and im blown away with your cuteness always 😂😂😂 my heart expanding with every look at you, you see! ❤️ oh my little grown up lady!

You anchor and light up my world. 💕

The sun don’t stay longer these days and too cold mostly, so we missed biking 🚲..but we fill our afternoons singing, coloring, snacking, backyard running, and hide&seek 😄

Pixielove, I hope and pray always that you grow up appreciating life more at any given moment, find fulfillment and joy.

living wholeheartedly for you,
Mama

p.s. I end this letter with this lil slow-mo video I made spontaneously while you were playing in the swing… i ended up replaying this as many times as i could (and my eyes sore every time, too) while images of our 1st year in Sydney flicker thru my mind.

‘Say thank you for a beautiful life and be grateful for the small things of life which are miracles we have actually got used to. Gratitude banishes negativity from your life, brings happiness and you start living in abundance and attract more love and prosperity because of the way you think about your life.’
-S. P.